Lots of tears today, more to come

Today has been very tough. After talking with the doctors yesterday and again today, Dan has decided that he wants to only have comfort care.

That means that only things that are needed for his comfort will continue. They already disconnected his IV nutrition, he will not get his regular night medications, they have taken him off of telemetry (EKG monitoring), they will no longer do vital sign checks or blood sugar checks. He will no longer have to suffer through dialysis.

The nurses and doctors will still be here for him for his comfort. That means he can still have pain meds, it is his choice right now, he has a button to push to immediately get them. He can have medicine for anxiety if he needs it. He can have oxygen still. And they will keep the NG tube in and keep it on suction because it is relieving lots of pressure in his stomach. And tomorrow the Hospice team will come evaluate him and most likely put him officially on hospice. Which just means things will continue as above, they will just monitor and ensure he is comfortable.

We will stay in this same room. We all agree that is the best option too. It’s not the biggest room, but the best thing and actually what Dan prefers too.

Everything we are doing right now is what Dan wants and we (his family) are fully in support of it. We agree with him and are confident that this is the best decision, it’s just not one that anyone ever wants to make or go through.

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers over the next few days. I don’t know how often I will post right now, sometimes it’s too tough to even think about, but sometimes it’s even a little therapeutic.

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Posted on September 18, 2014, in update. Bookmark the permalink. 51 Comments.

  1. Jessica, I’m so sorry you guys are going through this and you and Dan and your family will definitely continue being in our prayers.

  2. Dear Dan and Jessica, Our hearts are heavy for all you are going through. You are and shall be in our thoughts and prayers. Please tell Dan I said that he truly is strong and courageous! Hugs to you both. Love from Steve, Beth, Emily and Joshua

  3. You all are in our prayers. We love you all and are thinking about you constantly.

  4. Lots of hugs and prayers to Dan and Jessica and Jackson! So sorry and not sure what to say. Wishing Dan peace and comfort.

  5. Oh Jessica I am so sorry to hear this. I pray for comfort for you and Jackson amd the rest of your family, and especially for Dan.

  6. I have been following your story for about a year now. I pray for you and your family daily and will continue too through this impossible time. My heart is breaking right now. Breath Easy Dan, your strength has given me hope for my sons future.

  7. We Love you guys. Wish we could be there. I am so sorry, Love Dad and Mom

  8. Dan and Jessica,
    My thoughts are with you guys tonight. Dan is truly one of a kind.

  9. Chris and Ron Nelson

    Not what we all want to hear but do understand your decisions. Nothing is harder to do in this life than what you are all going through now. We are with you in spirit and are sending our love. God speed to Dan to the arms of our Heavenly Father.

  10. Nan and Dan Lauderback

    Thinking of you Xxoo

  11. I am so sorry for all that you’re enduring. Love and prayers from here. May God give you peace during this difficult time.

  12. I am so sorry . . .you are in our thoughts and prayers . . .Bless you and Dan and Jackson and the rest of the family . . . .I know it is a tough decision and your family and friends will support you in any way we can . . .much love to all

  13. Praying for you all tonight and in the days to come. Prayers for peace. Love to you!

  14. I dont pray as much as I should but tonight Dan, Jessica, and Jackson are In my prayers. I am overcome with a empty whole in my heart. My family and I send our love. Be strong Dan feel no pain.

  15. So sorry to hear this. May Gods love be with you and Jackson and may Dan go home to be with the Lord peacefully. He will always be with you in your hearts.

  16. I am so sorry Jessica – my thoughts & prayers are with you all.

  17. Dan and Jessica (and Jackson too), None of us can EVER know what you are going through but your strength and love for each other is so beautiful. You will be in my prayers and I will be thinking of you constantly

  18. Jessica, Dan and Jackson you are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you all so much!

  19. We hold you all tight in our hearts, always.

  20. Jessica, there are not enough words. We are thinking and praying for you, your family, and Dan. Xoxox

  21. Josh & Cara Sizemore

    We love you guys. Our hearts break but are filled with the memories of joy and laughter Dan has brought to us all. May the Lord wrap you in his arms and grant all of you peace. Our hearts and prayers are with you always.

  22. Our thoughts are with you all – much love – BJ, Lynn and all at Snake Park xxx

  23. What a tremendously difficult post to write. If it’s hard on those of us reading it, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you all. We will certainly be praying for you.

  24. Emily (Colburn) Dinwiddie

    My love and my families love is with you all. Please reflect on the peace of camp whitebranch and the beautiful memories made together. The joy, laughter and faith that brought us all together. “Peace before you, peace behind you, peace under your feet. Peace within us, peace over us, let all around us be peace!” Prayers and love surround your beautiful family.

  25. Dan, Jessica, Jackson:

    For some reason, I haven’t been getting these posts and a friend corrected that just a few minutes ago. My heart hurts tonight not only for all of the grief you all are going through now but also for the anticipation/pain/suffering/disappointments you’re endured in the many procedures Dan and you have courageously been through over the last couple of years. Yes, I am thankful for the good times and it has been at these times that I’ve run into you at a pizza parlor, at Costco, etc. Each and every time I’ve seen you throughout the last couple of years, I’ve wanted to write to you or scream out to all the world: Here is a family that counts! This is a family that means business when it comes to overcoming major obstacles in life. This is a family that stays together, no matter what; loves each other, no matter what; encourages one another, no matter what; this is a family that grasped marriage vows and honored them; all the while setting an example for friends and family, doctors, nurses, and even casual observers. This is a family that relies on their personal and cumulative Faith in a God who never fails. A God who “ heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds”. Psalm 147.3 It is impossible to say that I understand any phase of this difficult journey you’ve been on, as I have only observed and absorbed it from a distance, but I can tell you that your journey has affected more people than you’ll ever know. I am one of them. My deepest love, admiration and prayers to your family. Wish I could give Dan a hug and tell him how much respect I’ve always had for him – perhaps you could do that for me? And, if He gets to leave this small, temporary ‘vapor’ we call life here on earth before I do, I know a big, strong man, named Gary, who will be greeting him with a bear hug and thanking him for the kindness shown to me during the last few years. However, their emphasis will be upon the Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, Who will, by His mere presence, make everything good and beautiful.

    Your friend, Sonnie

  26. Allison Claridge Gruber

    Dan, Jessica and Jackson, my heart aches for you and your family. May you find peace and comfort in one another and the binding love that connects you to each other. You are all in my thoughts and in my heart.

  27. Dan, Jessica, and Jackson…I cannot begin to know what to say. My heart breaks for you all, but I echo the words that someone said earlier “Dan you are courageous!” I am glad to know you all, we are here in quiet support. LOVE and PEACE.

  28. Sorry sweetsound37 is Jenni Van Winkle

  29. Praying for you and Dan and Jackson.

  30. Your family has suffered so much, and Dan’s bravery is awe inspiring. Words cannot express how out hearts ache for all of you….May God Bless you and keep His loving hands on you in the coming days. Prayers always…

  31. Jessica,
    You are all so amazing and strong. Prayers and hugs to you all. Please know you are in our thoughts and we are thinking of Dan and praying for his comfort. Sara & Brent

  32. We are thinking of you and praying for your strength. Please, please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything at all. We pray that Dan is kept as comfortable as possible, and that you can all be together as a family right now. May God bless you and keep you close to him.

  33. As I write this note this morning all I can think of is how wonderful your family is and the tremendous support and love that you have given each other over the years. Thank you for sharing and letting me see the example of true love. I could only hope to have the same strength, love, and compassion that your family has shown through out this entire journey. We will continue to pray for each of you and for Dan’s comfort. If we can be of any help please don’t hesitate to let me know.

    Chad

  34. Dan, Jessica and Jackson,

    I’m sad to hear that things have taken such a turn for the worst. You all are in our thought and prayers. Dan you are a true inspiration for all the battles that you have concurred in your life.

  35. Cynthia Claridge

    You have been such a brave and loving family, one I highly admire. My remembrances of Dan are of a vibrant, strong, young boy and man. I admire Dan’s decision and my thoughts are most definitely with all of you as you go through this next passage of life. Please pass on my love to Dan, Marti and Chuck as you all support one another. You are a special young woman! Thank you for keeping us all up to date during this difficult time for you.
    Cynthia

  36. Jess, Dan & Jackson…no words can really help at times like this, so all I can say is we love you! Prayer’s that Dan, you will be pain free & you have a world full of support!

  37. My heart breaks, too, at hearing this news. And I will be forever grateful that you all came for a visit to see us. My thoughts are with you, not asking for strength, this you and Dan have both shown, but to bring as much love as possible around you to comfort you at this time.

  38. Jessica, please let Dan know that his old friend and college roommate Steve Baker is thinking of him with a heavy heart this morning. I wish him the absolute best in whatever may come.

  39. Dear ones, Our first thought was to rush up and hold you both in our arms, but when thinking clearly we realized neither one of us is able to travel at this time, me with my pinched nerve in my back, and Grandpa with his painful legs. So our best course is to only stand and wait and help where and when we can. Calling people that Chuck and Marti asked us to call last night allowed us to help some.

    Danny, I was there in Eugene when you were born staying with your mother and dad, you were brought home the second day and spent the night sleeping with me so your mother could get some rest. I cuddled you and cooed to you all night as you were very fussy. The next morning I told your mother that she needed to take you to the doctor, I was sure you had a bowel blockage, shades of my Cecilia many years before. By that night you had had surgery and were in neo-natal, can’t remember how long. You had a colostomy for a few months, I think, until your bowels healed and worked by themselves. So many years ago.

    You are our “gentle giant” Dan and we love you and your loving family so much, may our Lord grant you peace and comfort and keep you in His gentle arms.

    Love you so much more, God bless you and yours, Grandma and Grandpa S.

    Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 03:25:29 +0000 To: alicesize1965@hotmail.com

  40. Karen & Dave Ward

    We are here in Cottage Grove, so far away from loved ones, yet we feel so near to you in our hearts. We are 2nd cousin to Dan, Marti is my dear cousin. Marti I can feel you, in my heart, and it is breaking. Though, I also know that you raised your family to know the lord, and that you can take comfort in knowing Dan will soon sit with our Lord in the kingdom of heaven. Once there, God will receive Dan with a HUGE family reunion. Just think of it! Grandmas past, Uncles , and dearest brother Jeff. These things we keep in our hearts. Please know Marti how much I love you. God gave your children to be born to an Earth Angel Mom. Love to Jessica, Jackson, Chuck and all of your family.

  41. I might have been rich if I’d wanted the gold instead of the friendships I’ve made.
    I might have had fame if I’d sought for renown in the hours when I purposely played.
    Now I’m standing today on the far edge of life and I’m just looking backward to see
    What I’ve done with the years and the days that were mine and all that has happened to me.
    I haven’t built much of a fortune to leave to those who shall carry my name
    And nothing I’ve done shall entitle me now to a place on the tablets of fame.
    But I’ve loved the great sky and its spaces of blue; I’ve lived with the birds and the trees
    I’ve turned from the splendor of silver and gold to share in such pleasures as these.
    I’ve given my time to children who came; together we’ve romped and we’ve played
    And I wouldn’t exchange the glad hours spent with them for the money that I might have made
    I chose to be known and loved by the few and was deaf to the plaudits of men
    And I’d make the same choice should the chance come to me to live my life over again.
    I’ve lived with my friends and I’ve shared in their joys, known sorrow with all of its tears;
    I have harvested much from my acres of life, though some say I squandered my years
    For much that is fine has been mine to enjoy and I think I have lived to my best
    And I have no regret as I’m nearing the end, for the gold that I might have possessed.

    Edgar A Guest

    Thinking of you Dan and Jess and Jackson and the rest of your loved ones. Youre in our thoughts and prayers. Tina & Tanner

  42. God Bless you. I am praying for you.

  43. Praying for you all. God bless you with pease and comfort.

  44. You are my hero! My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Hugs, lots of hugs to everyone. I’m gathering you are in Seattle. If so and you need anything I will be there in an hour. Please don’t hesitate to call. Love to you all!

  45. I’m at a loss for words. Know I love you always have and always will. All of you are in my Prayers, Heart, And Thoughts

  46. May the Lord watch over, guide and comfort you in the days ahead. You will be in our prayers. Jaime Shea…Keri’s Mom

  47. Dan,
    It has been forever- I am so sorry to hear of your pain- you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Your family looks absolutely beautiful. And your son looks just like you! Those days we all spent at Camp White branch seem like yesterday- wishing you peace and your family joy.

    With much Love,
    Jessi Saunders

  48. Dan’s family was part of my church community in Springfield. I love and care deeply for all of your family, and will continue in prayer. Anne

  49. Learned of your family’s voyage yesterday. I can only imagine the strength of your family and Dan. I know Dan will be in good hands on his journey. I have no doubt that you, Jessica and your family will and are having a very sad time. I send my love to you, wonderful Dan and all your family. Love, Mona Novotny. I send huge hugs.

  50. My prayers and love. Your all never far from my thoughts as this journey unfolds. God love you all.

  51. Kathy and Craig Emerson

    Dan, Jessica and Jackson, our thoughts of love are coming to you. May you find peace in your faith, your love of one another and the many wonderful memories of times you have shared together.

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